Will no one rid me of these troublesome cassowaries?

Here's a photo of an innocent stroller being brutally attacked by a cassowary! Imagine if terrorist released a few of these among Philadelphian Mummers, Aztec Feather Dancers in L.A. or anywhere men commonly wear feathers? Would you be laughing then?

The best thing about Australia's impending destruction is the extermination of those damn Cassowaries. They are cunning beasts, and unless the Australian government takes firm action this may not be the end of the Cassowary Problem. Through lies, intrigue and mis-guided liberal immigration policies they could sneak into this country and take fruit picking jobs from hard working Mexicans.

The Journal of Terrifying Geologic Possibilities: the publication doing for geology what global warming did for climatology.